27JUN04 (2)

Entry Date: June 27, 2004
She writes with pain, tears in her words and a salty wimper in her sigh. She walks without feeling, hiding her fears, sheltering her sadness. She only cries alone, for no one to hear, so no one can see. She is true and real. Strong and fair. Prepared to accept her failure, prepared to accept her demise.

~Self-Inflicted~
Written December 31, 1999

I lie here with iron clasps on my hands and around my feet
chained to my inhibitions, my insecurities, and uncertain deceit.
My body painfully strikes against the shackles, these solid chains,
Tearing bits of my weakening muscles and adding to my physical strain.
I realize all is hopeless, not even I can set myself free,
These tiny impurities snowballed and in effect came back to torment me.
I stop trying to free myself and calm my self-inflicted pain,
The shackles removed themselves in the midst of all my shame.

Before the entry on this page, I wrote the Soldier's Creed. In basic training, which was before I started the Legacy books, we recited the Soldier's Creed every morning without fail. "I am an American Soldier. I am a warrior and a member of a team. I serve the people of the United States and live the army values. I will always place the mission first. I will never accept defeat. I will never leave a fallen comrade. I am disciplined, physically and mentally tough, trained and proficient in my warrior tasks and drills. I always maintain my arms and myself. I am an expert and I am a professional. I stand ready to deploy, engage, and destroy the enemies of the United States of America in close combat. I am a guardian of freedom and of the American way of life. I am an American Soldier." Years after I was discharged, my brother in law joined the service. He went through the initial high of being in the service. He recited the soldier's creed after asking if I remembered it. I did. Though I don't like where our country is headed, this group of words still holds meaning to me and I am sure that it holds meaning to the men and women who continue to serve. Go Army.